An online speakeasy of potent potables and other pabulam.

I’m bitter about this post, unfortunately.

Oh, how I hate you sometimes, Eee…

When I sat down to see six glasses of gorgeous looking amaros I was quite excited.? Mmm, nice bitter, dark loveliness.

Jacob Briars started up the session, talking about how really a lot of this stuff started with fraud, deception, etc., as people thought that they would soothe health concerns.? There were, for instance, the notions of the “humors” in the body.? Sebastian Raeburn (and I apologize if I misspell names, for reasons you’ll see in a second) came in, hawking his “health drink”, though never pouring it, since he said it had gin, chartreuse, Lysterine, NyQuil, and some other stuff in it.? I would’ve tried it anyways…

You see that netbook just at the bottom of the picture?? That’s the Eee I won in a contest and reformatted with Ubuntu.? I had a bit long post on this session written on it.? I kept track of what all of those amaros were, and how tasty they were, and even talked about the reishi mushroom bitter stuff that Jacob inflicted on us.

Jacob talks to us about drugs in our drinks.

About an hour into the session, I went to type, and it over-reacted on me, closing the tab and deleting everything I’d written.

Let that be a lesson to you, users of WordPress – even though down below, right there, I can see it saying “Draft saved at 4:00:24 PM” I know that this is NOT true, and that it’s never to come back if I get messed up, because my precious precious draft is gone forever, and thus, most of my brain cells.

Look, folks, this session was followed by the Diageo Happy Hour.? I sacrificed many a precious brain cell to bring you these words!? HEED? THE WORDS THAT I AM BRINGING YOU BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON THEY MATTER.

An Aussie AND a New Zealander?! Doing the same session?!

So, being that it’s a week later, and I’ve been thinking about this post but not, you know, writing the damn thing, here I am, your esteemed blogger, with all the serious journalistic integrity that implies (snicker), trying to put back together what I learned.

Here are some tidbits:

• Only two bottles of Bitter Truth Elixier were let in to the US.? They were delicious.
• I’d never had Luxardo Amaro before and now I shall buy some.
• Mmmmm, Fernet.

There was another Italian digestif included that isn’t available in the US but unfortunately I cannot recall it’s name.

Not as appetizing as it looks

So why do we drink these things?

Well, the obvious answer is that a number of us find them delicious.? I built up a taste for Fernet, I’m sure, like many of my fellow bloggers, perhaps egged on by the gregarious San Franciscan bartenders who seemed to have originally championed it on the US scene.? But a big thing for these – or like Underberg, my favorite post-meal digestif – is that they do make us feel better.

Jacob used an example that he takes every day.? His bitter, pictured to the right, features reishi mushrooms.? It was not tasty.? I do not want it in my drink.? However, he claims there are many health benefits to it, health benefits I wrote down and now don’t remember, so I’m guessing memory retention wasn’t one of them.

It is, perhaps, more scientific than it was back in the old days when they just dumped all kinds of wild, wacky things into a bottle of the black stuff, but for me – well, I think I’ll stick with my current doctor’s advice, and have a Fernet a day.

(Obligatory note: she said multi-vitamin.? I say Fernet.? I did not correct her.)

Putting the fun back into bartending…I’m just going to sort of live blog it.

Well, we started the session with Jacob wearing a horse head mask, and Angus saying he started bartending either 2 BC (Before Cranberry juice) or 10 AD (after Angostura Dependence).

This is a disturbing picture of Gary Regan they put up on the screen – he’s done up like a character from A Clockwork Orange.? Also, bartenders do it for sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

The Three Principles of Hospitality:
1.? Put a Smile on the Guest’s Face
2.? Optimise the Guest Sale
3.? Give the Guest a reason to return.

The Four Principles of Hosting
1.? Make them feel comfortable
2.? Make them feel important
3.? Make them feel welcome
4.? Make them feel understood

Some really interesting points – for instance, customer time is five times normal time.? Always smile at them, ask them questions to see how they want their drinks.? It makes me think of places I go to regularly and how some great bartenders do all of these things.

Angus posits that we’re in the second golden age of bartenders.? Starting in the ’90s we had the Age of Ingredients starting with fresh citrus and going through things such as herbs, spices, aged tequilas, etc – back in the old days Maker’s Mark only sent 500 cases to the UK.? Then we went to the Age of Technique which includes everything from molecular mixology to the hard shake.

Later we hit the Age of Scrutiny and Authenticity, featuring history, books, big mustaches, recreated ingredients, and such.? He thinks we lost some great stories that helped engage the guests – that things have gotten overly serious, very intense.

You read about mixologists all the time but you never actually meet one.? No one wants to raise their hand and say “I’m a mixologist”.

Is there a Big City Fixation?

Are there drinks that are by bartenders for bartenders?? (Jacob takes over here…)? Is it ingredients for the sake of those ingredients?

(A bright blue drink shows up…)

Oh, it’s a Corpse Reviver #Blue.? It’s exactly the same as a Corpse Reviver #2 but made with blue curacao.

The Cocktail Taliban?? Telling people how to dress, what to do?

Multitude of rules:
1.? Small is good: big is evil.? Just because you’re small, just because you do it for love, doesn’t make it good.? It’s nice to support local and small brands.
2.? Vodka is evil.? We drink vodka wrong, we don’t drink it like the Poles or the Russians.? We mix it, and that makes you a fashion victim.? Vodka is also looked down on in the US because we drink so much of it – Australia’s top seller is rum, and New Zealand’s is bourbon and gin (vodka is 4th).? Vodka is 38% of sales in the US.

It is dangerous territory to not make/sell drinks because you consider them not good enough for you.

3.? Commercial is evil.
4.? Not obeying rules is evil.
5.? The Hard Shake ™ is Holy.? You don’t use the Hard Shake ™ for everything.? It only works in Japan because there’s four patrons to one bartender.
6.? Shaving is evil.

Now Angus is quoting Toby from the book Cosmopolitan.? I’ve read that book but don’t remember this part – not that it’s surprising that I can’t remember.

Hey, another drink.? And I’m feeling okay after the first drink.? Now quotes from Maks from previously at Cure:

1.? Mustaches and arm garters do not make a bartender
2.? A bar exists to serve customers, not cocktails
3.? Inspiration for new cocktails is not found in the produce aisle of Whole Foods.? However, it can be found in the dusty bottles of your back bar
4.? There is no right way to make a cocktail, but there are many wrong ways
5.? Bartenders who work behind bars
6.? Recipes are guidelines, not gospel

(What is this drink?!)

7.? Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.? (Macallan and Diet Coke?)
8.? You’ll never serve a cocktail that makes everyone happy, so concentrate on making one person happy at a time
9.? Bartending is a profession and a craft, not a lifestyle
10.? It’s just a drink.

Jacob:? You can’t recreate these ancient recipes – things are different everywhere.? The types of sugar, even the ice.

Bartenders as characters:? Donn Beach – you’d want to get stuck in an elevator with him.? (Okay, Angus said “lift” not elevator…)? Trader Vic, Jerry Thomas, Mr. Billingsley (a bartender at the Stork Club in NYC who came up with signs and systems).

Cocktail names are important!

• Honey I’m Gay
• Knickerdropper Glory
• I want to take you to a Glayva
• Sage Against the Machine
• Anise and Nephew
• W.Y.B.M.A.D.I.I.T.Y.? (Would You Buy Me A Drink If I Tell You)

Uh oh, now we’re getting into writing!

Hey, he’s brought up the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.? And now the Flaming Moe!

Bar slang – talking about soda jerks during Prohibition.? Appropriate for seeing Darcy bartend tonight, hopefully!? “I’m not drunk, I’m overserved.”

Hmmm, drinking on an empty stomach is fun.? And there’s a drink here with rosemary in it…

Toasting used to be a real art form.? Bartenders should have a repository of toasts.

TIKI

Tiki has a lot of fun and also brings up sharing cocktails.

Huh.? Doodling.? Or droodles?? Huh.? A bar-related art form to pick up girls in the ’50s.

OMG this rosemary drink is…uh…weird.

You can make really good, well balanced drinks but still have a sense of fun.? An example is the Ale of Two Cities drink (Calloo Callay, UK) (it looks like a pint of bitter with chips on the side).

The Nightmarcher (Tar Pit, LA) – a tiki drink with a ball gag.

The Mad Hatters Tiki Punch served in a gramophone (Calloo Callay, UK).

Smoky Rum Old Fashioned (Purl, UK) – I’d describe this one but it’s complicated.? Seems to involve a bong-style smoke delivery system to your glass…

Negroni Blazer Style (Matterhorn, NZ)

oh this drink appears to be a Cecil Baker – gin, green chartreuse, pomme verte, passionfruit syrup.

And the story behind the Cecil Baker is great.? AND I’m not going to tell it to you, because you need to hear it, not read it on a blog…

So – here I am, at the media room for Tales of the Cocktail, digesting my brunch and having a couple of Oxley gin cocktails while waiting for the next tasting session I want to do.

WOOHOO TALES WOO!

Sorry.? Had to get that out of the way.

I’ve actually been in New Orleans since Sunday thanks to my day job.? I’ve got to hit various joints this time such as Luke’s, dba, and Jacques-Imo’s.? We, the bloggers, have a house again this year with a bar sponsored by a number of companies.? It’s already been a blast and I have way too many pounds worth of swag in my bags.

If you haven’t been here before it’s kind of hard to describe.? The lobby of the Monteleone was overrun this morning as people registered for Tales as tons of high school Lutheran kids – here earlier this week to do charity service – try to check out.? Bartenders complain about the early hours, presenters run around trying to make sure all their stuff is ready to go, and people from around the world renew their acquaintance and have a few drinks.

For me, I’ve got a tasting room in about 1/2 an hour, cigars and Mandarin Napoleon liqueur a couple of hours after that, and a Bulleit Bourbon event tonight.? If you’re in town, feel free to shoot me a line, check my Twitter ( @highwaystar ), or give me a holler on my phone.? Tomorrow: my day full of sessions!

Bon Appetit?has released a list of the Top 10 Best New Cocktail Bars?and it is great to see DC’s The Passenger?listed.? It is no secret that The Passenger is one of my favorite bars, period, and it’s great to see Tom and Derek getting mentioned in a list such as this.?

Andrew Knowlton’s blurb on The Passenger is pretty much on point,

One could happily spend an evening ensconced in the up-front booths, sipping a Moscow Mule at brothers Derek and Tom Brown’s Chinatown-area bar. But in terms of speakeasy appeal, you can’t beat the reservation-only Columbia Room in the back.