An online speakeasy of potent potables and other pabulam.

Oh, come on, like I could resist that kind of article title.

Always have a palate rinser when tasting – Miller Lite

A while ago, I responded to an offer to try Crown Royal Black. It’s a new variation of Crown Royal, it lists on the back about being aged in charred oak and blended to a higher proof than regular Crown Royal – 90 proof rather than the usual 80.

A lot of cocktail folks, myself included, tend to decry Canadian whisky. (AUGH NO “E” MY SPELLCHECKER WILL HATE ME.) In fact, just today Robert Simonson wrote an article in the New York Times about how the industry is trying to redeem itself of the reputation as “the vodka of whiskey”. (If you’ve used up your free clicks on the Times site, you can read a version of it on his site.)

For me, though, I also have my family, and certain members of my family are big Crown Royal fans. I thought I should give it a shot – after all, I did doctor up a Crown & Coke recipe for my brother’s wedding. (You can find that in my previous MxMo post here.)

My plan was set: I would introduce the Crown Royal Black to my brother and my dad, and then I’d make I’d a drink with it commemorating the Steelers Super Bowl win. That was a plan doomed to failure if I’d remembered how the Steelers would probably play.

Sigh. At least I’m not a Redskins fan.

So I hesitated but I consider this a good thing because of the NYT article – and I did introduce it to them.

My first impression of it compared to “regular” Crown Royal was that, yes, this is more whisk(e)y-ish. It’s hotter, but it’s got more of a depth of flavor to it than regular CR which just comes off as sweet to me. My dad, tasting it straight, responded immediately with “Yum!”

In a Crown & Coke – well, you can’t tell the different, I’m afraid.

I poked around with some ideas for a drink. None of them really gelled, I’m afraid – perhaps mostly because I was trying to think of something with Strega or yellow Chartreuse to be “black and gold”. You can use the CR Black much more like you could American whiskeys because unlike the basic Crown Royal, it doesn’t immediately disappear in a cocktail, it can actually stand out.

It’s not the most subtle of spirits, but to be honest, it’s a step in the right direction for Canadian whiskys. (Whiskies? Gah. That looks worse.) At $2 a bottle more, I think it’s definitely worth the extra couple of bucks (come on, in Virginia if I remember correctly you’re talking about $24.95 or $26.95 – get the extra taste and proof), but what I’d be most curious about is how Diageo and Crown Royal push this. Can they make a Canadian whisky that balances sweet and spicy, and make it at a good price point?

Hmmm. I have a sudden urge to make an orange juice drink with this. (Runs into kitchen). Want an experiment?

Experimental Crown Royal Black Cocktail:
2 oz Crown Royal Black
2 oz orange juice
3-4 dashes orange bitters
Shake, pour straight into a high ball glass.

Thoughts? Does it deserve a name? Will Gabe make fun of me for using OJ?

“Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”
“Carla was the prom queen.”
“Really?”
(chambers a round in his gun) “Yeah.”

Sorry. I love that movie (The Rock, if you have to ask). We used to watch it twice a night in college – once on a copy with crappy video and good sound, and once with a copy that had good video and crappy sound. Typically put away a block of Kroger’s brand pepper jack cheese and a bag of tortilla chips along with a couple of 40s while doing it.

No, I do not wonder why I am fat.

When DJ Hawaiian Shirt aka MEESTER CHREES posted this topic my first thought was to whine. After all, I did not go home with the prom queen.

To be honest, I don’t even remember who the prom queen was. Though, by careful scientific calculation, I’m sure that whomever she was, she’d want to hook up with me now, definitely, unless she’s married, in which case she’d just be thinking about in the back of her head.

(waits for someone from high school to read this blog post and either direly insult me or post pictures of how dorky I am was back then)

(waits for Marshall to say something so he can break out Photoshop and have some real fun)

Anyways, I realized I did have a drink that was popular. It’s not that I don’t think I make good drinks (SHUT THE HELL UP REST OF THE COCKTAIL BLOGGER COMMUNITY) it’s just that I don’t typically sit around and tweak them until they’re perfect.

THAT’S MY EXCUSE AND I’M STICKING TO IT.

But some of them have been popular.

I don't know KP is hosting it but hey.

Back a few years ago (2, to be precise) I decided to come up with drinks named after a bunch of folks working up to Tales of the Cocktail 2009.

Oh, to be young and stupid in those days!

One of the drinks I did I named after local bartender Derek Brown. To call him just a “bartender” is to call Tiger Woods just a “golfer” or “trashy girl aficionado” or to call [POLITICIAN RANT DELETED].

Those motherfu[DELETED] how much I [DELETED].

Sorry.

Basically, this was an easy drink to come up with: Dolin Blanc is delicious. At the time – and I don’t think he still is, but I could be wrong, and don’t have time to double-check so as to give this post the delicious patina of last-minute-panic that DJ Hawaiian Shirt evidently just drinks in from my posts – he was a brand rep for Domaine de Canton.

Thus, the Derek:

The Derek
3-4 leaves of mint
1/2 ounce Domaine de Canton
3 ounces Dolin Blanc
1 dash orange bitters (Regans #6)
Lightly muddle the mint and Domaine de Canton in an old-fashioned glass.  Add the vermouth, bitters, and ice.  Stir gently to mix.  Garnish with a fresh sprig of mint.

(The post I originally put this in explains why it has so much better a picture than I’d normally give a drink.)

The really cool thing about this drink is how easily it’s modified; just sub out the Domaine, really. Try The Bitter Truth E***X***R, for instance, or Berechovka – two of the drinks I’ve had recently – or even better, try Hum. Replace the Dolin Blanc with Caparno.

Okay, there’s one of my best drinks. People really seemed to like it.

But this is SCOFFLAW’S DEN! We don’t just kowtow to MxMo with one drink! NEIN! NYET! NO! We do multiple drinks!

So, I give you, by far, and without pictures, the two most popular drinks I’ve ever come up with. In some synchronicity, these are also named after people I know. In fact, it’s my brother and my sister-in-law.

Back in the hectic, lawless, far-flung days of 2009 I lived with my brother and his fiancée. As they approached the sacred rites that would bond them as one, forever destined to take care of two flagrantly obnoxious cats, and one condo surrounded by some pusillanimous (and some recherché, I admit) neighbors, I suggested I’d make up drinks named for each of them. They liked the idea and I disseminated some test drinks which, soon enough, got narrowed down to these. The fact that their cakes would be soaked in Grand Marnier gave me the appropriate animus.

The Matt
2 ounces Crown Royal
1/2 ounce Grand Marnier
2-3 dashes Regan’s #6 orange bitters
Top with Coca-cola
Build in a low ball glass. Stir.

A lot of my family likes Crown & Coke and so I built from there. What’s scary about this drink is how easily it goes down, as the GM just makes it … well, damn easy to drink. Even if you replace the Crown with rum (as one guest did at the reception) or the Coke with diet (as many guests did).

The Cathy
1/2 ounce Grand Marnier
1/2 ounce vodka
Top with sparkling wine/champagne
Garnish with a long twist of orange peel
Build in a champagne flute

Like the other drink, I also wanted to make sure these were easy to make for the bartenders. When I tested this for the first time I was actually asked (surprisingly to me) to make it stronger, thus the vodka.

Warning note: Five of these might mean you nap somewhere you’d rather not do so.

So that’s it for this MxMo. Thanks to DJ Hawaiian Shirt for hosting, and Paul for organizing. Cheers!

Not long ago I received a question via the Twitter regarding what to order at an airport bar. Then, just yesterday I was asked about what drinks someone should order out at a bar that wasn’t as complicated as my usual missives. And the final nail in this coffin was a friend commenting that he was really tired of telling bartenders that Jack Daniels was not bourbon.

All of this got me to thinking – dangerous I know – about how tough it really is to still get a decent drink. Now don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of bartenders who aren’t into the booze-nerdyism. A shot and a beer and the occasional gin and tonic or something-and-soda is just fine thank you very much. And I have no problem with that whatsoever.

In my opinion, what it comes down to is this: as the drinker, what are you looking for and can you adapt? Bottom line is that you shouldn’t force the bar to conform to your expectations, especially if those expectations are contrary to the type of bar you’re currently sitting in.

For example, if I’m out at a speakeasy-style craft cocktail bar and order a Southside, I have a level of expectation on how that drink will be made and the quality of the final product. If I’m at Chili’s, I’m not going to expect the bartender to know what a Southside is, much less how to make it. And if they do make me something called a “Southside” that is not at all what I was expecting, then that is my fault.

Once I was sitting at a well known craft cocktail bar here in DC and listened to two baseball-cap wearing, fraternity row gadabouts bitch and complain about the menu being too wordy, the drinks taking too long to make, and the lack of drunk sorority chicks dancing on the tables. (And yes, this was the exact topics of their discussion.) They finished their first round of drinks, threw some wadded up bills on the bar and walked out. I don’t think they ever got their bill and I’m sure they left a paltry tip, if any at all.

Since their expectations were out of sync with the bar, they had a bad time and took it out on the establishment. The bar did nothing but operate along it’s normal course.

So, what to do at the airport or hotel bar? Adapt.

First, look at a menu. What is the most prominent spirit used? Do the cocktails look somewhat tasty on the menu? Second, look behind the bar? Are there 30 flavors of vodka, 1 bottle of Beefeater, a few random whiskeys, and a bottle of sweet vermouth with half an inch of dust on it’s shoulders? Or do they have bitters prominently displayed, multiple kinds of gin, whiskey, and liqueurs, and gleaming barware ready to be used? Finally, see what others are drinking and, just as important, how the bartender is interacting with the customers. This will tell you if he or she cares what the customers are drinking or whether he or she couldn’t care less.

What to drink? Depends on what you find. If it’s a vodka heavy hotel/airport bar and I’m going with hard alcohol, I’ll order a two ingredient drink: bourbon and ginger, gin and tonic, rum and coke, etc. Or I’ll stick with beer if they have something interesting. Since I’m not a big beer drinker, it would have to be something that catches my eye and outside the Sam Adams, Corona, Bud Light rubric.

If the bar looks like it could crank out a proper cocktail, talk to the bartender. Does he or she know how to make a negroni? Will they ask you if you want fruit salad in your Old Fashioned? Do they have bitter and if so, do they actually use them? You’ll learn a lot just by talking to the bartender and then you’ll be directed on which libation road to travel.

If you get really lucky and the bar has a bottle of Campari and a reasonably fresh bottle of sweet vermouth, you may be able to ask for a negroni.

Negroni
1 oz each Gin, Campari & Sweet Vermouth
-Stir over ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
-Alternatively just build it an ice filled rocks glass and you’re set. None of that thar fancy stirrin’ stuff.

Really, it all started, as so many things in my life do, with me running my mouth.

Me after the Super Bowl

You see, I figured that no matter who won the NFC, it wouldn’t matter – the AFC team was going to win the Super Bowl. And, of course, I thought that even more when my favorite team (the Pittsburgh Steelers) looked like they were going to make it. In fact, I was so confident I said I’d post about vodka – the oft-derided liquor of many cocktailians – if the NFC games that weekend mattered.

Well…damn.

I also received two bottles of Tito’s Vodka in the mail. I’d never had it before though I’d seen good things about it. A lot of people will argue that all vodkas taste the same, or that they should all be “flavorless”, but that’s really just not the case. I’d argue that some of that might have come from the Smirnoff and other advertising campaigns of the ’40s and on, where vodka was claimed to avoid leaving the smell of alcohol on your breath.

In fact, it’s the argument about the taste and texture of vodka that led to an article in The Atlantic about how the terroir of a vodka – in this case, Karlsson’s – gives it a unique taste. I haven’t had Karlsson’s yet, but at the time I would’ve bet that it wasn’t the only one.

There was a DVD about it, but I forgot to watch it.

I took the Tito’s liter down to my parents’ house with me as my mom is a big fan of vodka. She had usually drank Grey Goose, but lately was drinking Stoli in her Cosmos. We both tried the Tito’s and enjoyed it a lot – in fact, she liked it a lot more than what she had been using and, as of last time I checked she had stocked up on the Tito’s.

Woohoo for them! (As a matter of full disclosure, Tito’s sent me 1.75 liters without any asking from me, and the 750ml that I kept was even signed to me by Tito! Which was really cool.)

As I mention in the picture caption I didn’t watch the DVD that came with it because I am very lazy. Unlike some vodkas, they claim to microdistill their own liquor, and say that they get all their corn from the United States.

If that’s all I had, it’d be “Oh. Okay.” Most people wouldn’t be convinced, perhaps, that there are vodkas you should really get out and try. Heck, while I liked Tito’s, I’d probably be about the same way.

Then one night I was out at PS7, talking to some folks I know, or had just met, when I met some of the individuals involved with Blackleaf Vodka, a new vodka from the Cognac region of France that is just starting to reach into the American market. The distillers were there and brought a sample to some skeptical folks, mostly bartenders and one blogger (me).

Wow.

It was pretty darn good! In fact, one of the bartenders said he’d always been a whiskey guy, but this was a vodka that could change his mind.

I reached out to them for a quick interview on Blackleaf. Christian Hayford was good enough to give me a few answers on it.

Scofflaw’s Den: The bottle advertised as being from the heart of Cognac. Are the distillers from that area or did they choose it? If so, why did they choose Cognac, which is more known for its brandy?

Christian Hayford: The master distiller in charge of crafting Blackleaf is from Cognac, France. Their 120 yr old Cognac House, as time has passed, has become a Cognacs and Spirits House and in turn they now also apply their centuries old distillation techniques to vodka.

SD: Is the vodka distilled in a similar manner as to cognac, using pot stills?

CH: Yes. Unlike some of the more common column stills capable of multiple distillations in a single pass, we felt that a copper pot still would allow us more control over the final taste of the vodka.

SD: How did they get into the vodka business? What do they hope to bring to the table in an industry with so many labels already out there? Obviously, I’ve tasted it, so I know they have a good product, but what gave them the confidence that “hey, we can make a better vodka?”

CH: Similar to you, we also have an affinity towards spirits; chiefly vodka. Noticing the subtle differences between various vodkas on the market led us to question everything. In doing so we decided to start the journey of creating a less fluff, better tasting, higher quality vodka. We wanted to take it past distillation and filtration and thats how we ended up going down the path of creating an ultra premium vodka organically.

SD: What’s their favorite way of enjoying it?

CH: We can really appreciate the notes discovered when sipping Blackleaf ‘neat’ but ultimately we’re constantly trying to push the limits of vodka. As you’ll see with our upcoming signature drinks we enjoy putting opposing elements together to create beautiful results.

SD: It’s certified organic. Do they visit the farms that grow the wheat for it? How close are the farms to the distillery?

CH: The wheat that is used to create Blackleaf is grown on the same property as the distillery. Ensuring quality control and organic integrity from start to finish.

Well, folks, that’s enough for this post. Last I heard, Blackleaf wasn’t yet in the States, but if we get another chance to try it, we’ll let you know our thoughts on it, even if I have to twist Marshall’s arm to make him try it!