An online speakeasy of potent potables and other pabulam.

I’m guessing not here since we’ve been a bit remiss on posting as often as we’d like. We’re working on it, honest!

But things I’ve done lately:

• Cigar Advisor revamped as an online magazine. You’ll see something from me in their July issue. But they’re doing tasting competitions with a great deal on the cigars involved, and I did my first round last night. It was a J Fuego Origen Original versus a Schizo 60 versus a Trocadero Honore. The Original was good, though quite a tight draw, and unlabeled which made it hard to figure out which one it was at first. I liked the Honore at first, but it had an interesting spice taste that got a bit old after a while. The Schizo 60 was just a solid cigar, and so I voted for it.
• And it looks my “raccoon traps” – bowls with rags soaked in ammonia – are working to keep the bugger away from me!
• Plum Deluxe posted an article I wrote about upgrading your bar. Read it and comment about it on Facebook should you desire!
• If you know me, you know I like beer. That being said, I am now boycotting Rogue. It started with them suing some NOLA bartenders after they dared name their book “Rogue Cocktails” and now they’re suing a local restaurant, Rogue 24. That’s Not Cool, Rogue.
• Next Friday DC Toasts salutes African-American bartenders. You should go. I will be there. It will be fun.
• Just an FYI: Looks like neither Marshall nor I will be attending Tales this year. It’s sad, but it will be good for my wallet. I will probably write more at length on the biggest reason I’ve decided against going later, but if you’ve read my coverage from previous years (especially 2011) you can probably guess the gist of it.

Well, that’s about it for now. If you’re looking for a good brunch spot, go bug our fellow scofflaw Anthony at Beuchert’s Saloon. Order many Ramos Gin Fizzes and mimosas. Try the oxtail gravy and biscuits, because I haven’t yet but they look fantastic!

A Beuchert’s Saloon employee pours bright orange syrup into a glass, adds ice, and pulls the handle to a soda fountain draft releasing a stream of carbonated water. The result is a house-made orange crush soda.

“It’s very creamy,” said Rachael Lopez, 24, a patron at Beuchert’s. Her husband, Ben Berkow, 26, enjoyed the smooth taste and the subtle vanilla flavor he got.

This new Capitol Hill restaurant recently installed three soda fountain draft arms originally assembled by the Liquid Carbonic Manufacturing Company and dated somewhere between the late 1880s and the mid 1910s.

People often ask me, “What’s it like to work here?”

I am a bartender at Jack Rose Dining Saloon in Washington DC and this bar houses over 1,500 bottles of whiskey. Yes you are reading this correctly, over 1,500 bottles of American bourbon, rye, single malt scotch, Irish whiskey, Canadian whisky, Japanese whisky and many more international whiskeys. Name a bottle of whiskey you love and odds are we have it, plus many more options you probably have never heard of. To give you an idea of the vastness of the collection I work with, we have over fifteen different types of Macallans to offer.

It’s incredible! So, have I always loved whiskey? Where did my knowledge come from? How did I “stumble” upon this job which is geared around recommending this fabulous libation?

The truth is I did not always love whisky. It all began as I delved deeper into learning how to be more creative with all types of spirits, liqueurs, spices, juices, syrups, etc. What differentiates a good bartender from a great one is their ability to create a cocktail on demand that is a reflection of whatever the customer‘s whim or wish may be. My journey to falling in love with whiskey began with making cocktails for customers, including a great deal of whiskey. The more cocktails I made, the more my taste palate developed. I began to understand the small and large nuances between whiskies in terms of the entire tasting experience. This includes starting and lingering tasting notes, smells, textures, and overall mouth feel.

I quickly became obsessed with trying as many whiskies as possible, as I wanted to understand how each one could affect an entire cocktail’s flavor profile. What better place than to expand my knowledge than at Jack Rose Dining Saloon. As every bartender’s dream with so many options available to create with, this place became my playground. I fell in love with whiskey pretty quickly and there is no turning back.

For only being 26 years old, my taste palate is that of an old man or a middle-aged man, but I do not despair. I want to share my passion for whiskey with you. If you don’t understand, it’s time to sit down and have a flight of whisky. Item number one: TASTE.

I often use music as a metaphor to whiskey. I try to entice new beginners who are apprehensive about trying whiskey by pointing out that one cannot say they hate all music. There must be one song out there you love? The same goes for exploring the world of whiskey. What people too often fail to realize is that the world of whiskey is so vast and has so many options for you to try. Many people do not realize what is available to them. What are you waiting for?

My tip for enjoying whiskey:: Keep tasting as many as possible because the options are endless.

One of the joys of checking your Twitter/Facebook feed in the middle of the night is finding some of the messages people post and delete by the time everyone wakes up in the morning. Diatribes, rants, topless pics, it’s all kinds of good, wholesome fun.

The other night I saw a former bar employee ranting about about a professional food critic’s review of the person’s previous place of employment. It made me think of something about the atmosphere of certain bars that I wanted to touch on.

But first, let me state this: as a rule, you’ll probably notice that we rarely, if ever, post bad reviews of a bar by name. When we first started, there was one that we mentioned some issues with, but worked that out with the bartender later, and I wish we’d reached out to him before posting. If I am going to post something negative, it’s either because I’m very passionate about what I perceive as an injustice  (see most of my Tales posts recently) or I give them a chance to respond before I post (see my post on the William Grant & Sons party at Tales – they just declined to respond after saying they would).

That’s because there’s almost always another side of the story. This industry can be rough enough as it is, there is no reason for me to jeopardize somebody’s job because my Old Fashioned had fruit in it or I wasn’t happy with my bar snacks or I just feel like being a little bitch online. There’s a reason why people look down on Yelp-ers.

On the other hand, I feel like there’s very little reward for industry folks to lash out publicly at people speaking poorly of them online, unless it is to correct a factual error. Yelling online via Twitter, or Yelp comments, or whatever, will usually not garner you goodwill among people who haven’t visited your establishment and may engender some reconsideration among people who’ve visited your place before.

Enough digression.

What got me about the rant was the claim that the reviewer (disclosure: I am friends with the reviewer but don’t know anyone else involved) just didn’t get it. She’d visited the bar, but she just didn’t understand their patrons, and friends and family understood the vibe there. It’s her fault!

WRONG.

Here’s the problem with that: what you’re saying is that if you’re not a member of the friends and family of the bar, you’re not going to have as good of an experience. A bar should be open to all, it should not be a clique, or a fraternity, or a closed socialite circle.

Let me use some examples from around this area. I am not going to use the real bars’ names, as not all things will be complimentary. If you know me and know the area, you might recognize some of them.

BAR A: This bar wasn’t far from my old apartment. Every time I went in there was a group of regulars there, chatting with the bar staff. Service was perfunctory and sometimes slow. The staff and the regulars got along quite well, but newcomers to the bar were not included. When the bar closed, many folks complained and complained online about how “the atmosphere was so wonderful”. Why, yes, it was. For you. For the rest of us, it was a shitty bar and we were happy to see it go.

BAR B: This bar has a good crowd of regulars, both in and out of the industry. The staff is friendly to everyone, however, and does their best to include people in on conversations, introduce them to other patrons, etc. Meanwhile the patrons are often quite talkative to people visiting the bar for the first time, or just to people they’ve seen before. Obviously, this breaks down some when it gets really busy, but for the most part holds up well. The only folks I’ve heard complain about it are people who keep themselves distant from everyone else in the bar other than their own friends.

BAR C: An Irish bar down near where I used to live. The bartenders are amazing – go more than once, and they’ll remember your name and your order. The regulars tend to be a bit gruff and insular, but they’re also almost always willing to have a conversation or share some camaraderie. If the patrons at BAR A had been more like the patrons here, outsiders wouldn’t have felt so unwelcome, and perhaps their bar wouldn’t have closed.

BAR D: Everyone hates everyone else. When I’m depressed, that’s the kind of bar I like. It’s shitty and everyone knows it.

BAR E: Good service if you know the bartenders – but if they get distracted by other patrons, it can be slow as hell. Ever get used to being doted on by the staff, then find yourself unable to get a refill because the bartender is flirting with hot girls? It can give you a sad.

So how do you build a good bar experience for your patrons?

It’s all about the people. You need bartenders that can be social and friendly without getting clogged down with one small group of patrons. They need to be able to keep the bar running while making each patron feel special.

And it’s about the customers. You need the kind of customers who will be friendly to newcomers to your bar. This is helped by your bartenders – if the regulars see that the bar staff adds new people to the conversation (“Hey, come meet so and so” or “What do you think about XYZ?”) then they’ll be more willing to do the same.

Obviously, not every bar is going to want to go that way. But the next time you feel the need to defend a bar by saying “you just don’t get it” stop and think that perhaps you’re not the one who gets it.