harmakhet

coughcough) sent me a link to “The 11 Manliest Cocktails in the World”.  Intrigued, of course, I had to check out that link.

If you want to read the article first, go ahead, or not, whatever.

The first couple of drinks are fine.  They’re not necessarily cocktails, per se – well, I mean, a car bomb is sort of one, and the “Kentucky Tea” is water and whiskey.  I’ve never known anyone to drink moonshine and water, it’s always just straight, and also, moonshine ain’t aged – so it’s not going to look like tea, if that’s where the name came from.  I don’t know if it did or not, but I’ve never heard of it before.

Rusty Nail – sure.  I’ve never had one, but it’s like the world’s most expensive cocktail that my friend Aimee sent me a link to – which was 55 year old Macallen scotch, passion fruit syrup, and dried peach bitters (or something like that).  If you’re drinking good Scotch, why add to it, and if you’re not drinking good scotch – yikes.

On the other hand, I only first tasted Drambuie last week, so I might have to try a Rusty Nail before condemning it.  As for manliness – eh.  I don’t know…sure.  I mean, it’s scotch.

A Snake Bite – Yukon Jack and a dash of Lime.  I’ve seen Yukon Jack a gazillion times in the store, but never tasted it – is it good?  Bad?  Is this some kind of harsh drink?

A Jagerade, which is Jagermeister and Gatorade.  I’ve never heard of anyone drinking that, either, though I’m not pretending to know everything about what everybody drinks.  Now grain alcohol and Gatorade, there’s a manly drink, and heck, if you want something with Jager in it, I’d do Jager and Red Bull myself.  That’s manlyer (manlier?  manly-er?) than vodka and Red Bull.

Gin and juice.  Though they decorate it with a picture of a gin and tonic.  I’m not going to argue with Snoop Dogg.

A Nuclear Waste – supposedly, this is Keith Richards’ drink, and it’s vodka and Sunkist orange soda.  Seriously.  That’s not a manly drink.  I don’t care how many drugs he’s done.

The final three are good, I think – a Sazerac, a martini, and a Manhattan.  It’s number four that got me.

A Tequila Sunrise.

Seriously.

THAT is a manly drink?!

The article claims it’s a breakfast drink, but seriously, whatever, dudes.  You want a manly breakfast drink, stick with bourbon and Coke.  Or hell, make a Bloody Bull – that’s a Bloody Mary with beef bouillon in it.  Make it with tequila, if you want – I can’t remember what’s that called.  Or just have a whiskey sour, or an old fashioned, or a mint julep.

But a tequila sunrise!?

Egads.

Why not a boilermaker at that?

No, waitaminute…nah, it’s true.  Seriously.  I’ve got about 3 hours left in my work day, and then it’s home – and I have tomorrow off for work for a trip up into the woods, wine tasting over the weekend, and then the Super Bowl.

On my trip to the woods I plan on taking my bottle of horseradish-infused vodka with me and offering to make bloody mary drinks.  Whether or not I take anything else I haven’t decided, but I probably will bring at least some whiskey or something.  A good, easy to make cocktail is key in times like this.  Heck, depending on packing constraints I could throw the bison grass vodka in there – we pick up some apple juice and the ladies (oh, who am I kidding?  David too.)  will be ready to go!

One day we’ll probably hit Rappahannock Cellars.  I’ve been to that winery once before but it should be a good time.  There’s a few other decent wineries in the area, too.

Super Bowl day is Sunday, and despite the myriad cocktail opportunities pointed out in Slashfood today, I’ll probably stick with beer.  But I did want to look at what they have.  And I have to bring something with me, and I’m thinking Muldoon’s whiskey-marinated chicken wings with barbecue sauce from the LA Times – I’ll talk about that recipe after the cocktails.

Slashfood’s link was actually over to Cocktail.com.  There they had a page about American football cocktails written back in 2004.  To be honest, most of these appear to be more shooters and less of the traditional cocktails that we here in the Scofflaw’s Den tend to prefer, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

The Blitz for instance is 1 ounce each of tequila, rum, gin, vodka, cranberry juice, and sours mix, shaken, poured into four shot glasses, topped with tonic, and then shot (done tequila style with a lick of sugar, shot, suck on a lime).  Almost like a variant of a long island iced tea made for shooting.  I’m not certain how this drink relates to football other than the name and perhaps the desire for some people to get tanked while watching/tailgating for football.

The False Start, surprisingly enough submitted by a Raiders fan, has four ounces of apple cider, two ounces of bourbon, and one ounce of apple brandy plus half a lemon, shaken, and makes two four ounce cocktails.  I could see myself trying this one, though I probably wouldn’t make two out of it.  The apple and the bourbon, to me, says FOOTBALL.  Apples are all about the fall.

In a kind of random drink in my opinion, the First and Ten has a ton of different juices and just a bit of gin, plus a float of dark rum.  You start with three ounces of gin, then add two ounces each of orange, pineapple, grapefruit, cranberry, lemon, and lime juices.  Yikes!  You shake it, strain it into two Collins glasses filled with ice, and top with a dash of grenadine, a splash of soda water or seltzer, and float some dark rum on top.  Again, I don’t see how this one gets it’s name or what it brings to football – maybe it looks kind of brownish by the end.

The Fumble is yet another gin drink.  Two ounces each of gin and vodka, plus two ounces each grapefruit and cranberry juices, shaken and strained into two rocks glasses packed with crushed ice, then topped with soda water or seltzer.  I’d prefer, personally, to go with all gin in something like this, and I kind of wonder what Fee’s Brothers’ Grapefruit bitters would do to the drink (either in conjunction or in replacement of the grapefruit juice).  Again, I’m not seeing the football connection.

Next we have the Time Out.  This is three ounces of Jaegermeister and one ounce of anisette, turned into – something.  The recipe says shake with cracked ice and strain into two sugar rimmed martini glasses.  I have no idea what this would turn out like, as I have a hard time imagining the taste of the anisette.  Maybe

tmfiii

can help me.  Though he’d probably tell me to use Pernod and laugh at me as I sputter while drinking it.  He’s a mean one.

They have any problem with it, you tell them to talk to ME, Marshall aka

tmfiii

, full contact information available upon request.

Whew.  This post went a lot longer than I expected – guess I gotta get to the wings in another post!