An online speakeasy of potent potables and other pabulam.

Oh, come on, like I could resist that kind of article title.

Always have a palate rinser when tasting – Miller Lite

A while ago, I responded to an offer to try Crown Royal Black. It’s a new variation of Crown Royal, it lists on the back about being aged in charred oak and blended to a higher proof than regular Crown Royal – 90 proof rather than the usual 80.

A lot of cocktail folks, myself included, tend to decry Canadian whisky. (AUGH NO “E” MY SPELLCHECKER WILL HATE ME.) In fact, just today Robert Simonson wrote an article in the New York Times about how the industry is trying to redeem itself of the reputation as “the vodka of whiskey”. (If you’ve used up your free clicks on the Times site, you can read a version of it on his site.)

For me, though, I also have my family, and certain members of my family are big Crown Royal fans. I thought I should give it a shot – after all, I did doctor up a Crown & Coke recipe for my brother’s wedding. (You can find that in my previous MxMo post here.)

My plan was set: I would introduce the Crown Royal Black to my brother and my dad, and then I’d make I’d a drink with it commemorating the Steelers Super Bowl win. That was a plan doomed to failure if I’d remembered how the Steelers would probably play.

Sigh. At least I’m not a Redskins fan.

So I hesitated but I consider this a good thing because of the NYT article – and I did introduce it to them.

My first impression of it compared to “regular” Crown Royal was that, yes, this is more whisk(e)y-ish. It’s hotter, but it’s got more of a depth of flavor to it than regular CR which just comes off as sweet to me. My dad, tasting it straight, responded immediately with “Yum!”

In a Crown & Coke – well, you can’t tell the different, I’m afraid.

I poked around with some ideas for a drink. None of them really gelled, I’m afraid – perhaps mostly because I was trying to think of something with Strega or yellow Chartreuse to be “black and gold”. You can use the CR Black much more like you could American whiskeys because unlike the basic Crown Royal, it doesn’t immediately disappear in a cocktail, it can actually stand out.

It’s not the most subtle of spirits, but to be honest, it’s a step in the right direction for Canadian whiskys. (Whiskies? Gah. That looks worse.) At $2 a bottle more, I think it’s definitely worth the extra couple of bucks (come on, in Virginia if I remember correctly you’re talking about $24.95 or $26.95 – get the extra taste and proof), but what I’d be most curious about is how Diageo and Crown Royal push this. Can they make a Canadian whisky that balances sweet and spicy, and make it at a good price point?

Hmmm. I have a sudden urge to make an orange juice drink with this. (Runs into kitchen). Want an experiment?

Experimental Crown Royal Black Cocktail:
2 oz Crown Royal Black
2 oz orange juice
3-4 dashes orange bitters
Shake, pour straight into a high ball glass.

Thoughts? Does it deserve a name? Will Gabe make fun of me for using OJ?

“Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”
“Carla was the prom queen.”
“Really?”
(chambers a round in his gun) “Yeah.”

Sorry. I love that movie (The Rock, if you have to ask). We used to watch it twice a night in college – once on a copy with crappy video and good sound, and once with a copy that had good video and crappy sound. Typically put away a block of Kroger’s brand pepper jack cheese and a bag of tortilla chips along with a couple of 40s while doing it.

No, I do not wonder why I am fat.

When DJ Hawaiian Shirt aka MEESTER CHREES posted this topic my first thought was to whine. After all, I did not go home with the prom queen.

To be honest, I don’t even remember who the prom queen was. Though, by careful scientific calculation, I’m sure that whomever she was, she’d want to hook up with me now, definitely, unless she’s married, in which case she’d just be thinking about in the back of her head.

(waits for someone from high school to read this blog post and either direly insult me or post pictures of how dorky I am was back then)

(waits for Marshall to say something so he can break out Photoshop and have some real fun)

Anyways, I realized I did have a drink that was popular. It’s not that I don’t think I make good drinks (SHUT THE HELL UP REST OF THE COCKTAIL BLOGGER COMMUNITY) it’s just that I don’t typically sit around and tweak them until they’re perfect.

THAT’S MY EXCUSE AND I’M STICKING TO IT.

But some of them have been popular.

I don't know KP is hosting it but hey.

Back a few years ago (2, to be precise) I decided to come up with drinks named after a bunch of folks working up to Tales of the Cocktail 2009.

Oh, to be young and stupid in those days!

One of the drinks I did I named after local bartender Derek Brown. To call him just a “bartender” is to call Tiger Woods just a “golfer” or “trashy girl aficionado” or to call [POLITICIAN RANT DELETED].

Those motherfu[DELETED] how much I [DELETED].

Sorry.

Basically, this was an easy drink to come up with: Dolin Blanc is delicious. At the time – and I don’t think he still is, but I could be wrong, and don’t have time to double-check so as to give this post the delicious patina of last-minute-panic that DJ Hawaiian Shirt evidently just drinks in from my posts – he was a brand rep for Domaine de Canton.

Thus, the Derek:

The Derek
3-4 leaves of mint
1/2 ounce Domaine de Canton
3 ounces Dolin Blanc
1 dash orange bitters (Regans #6)
Lightly muddle the mint and Domaine de Canton in an old-fashioned glass.  Add the vermouth, bitters, and ice.  Stir gently to mix.  Garnish with a fresh sprig of mint.

(The post I originally put this in explains why it has so much better a picture than I’d normally give a drink.)

The really cool thing about this drink is how easily it’s modified; just sub out the Domaine, really. Try The Bitter Truth E***X***R, for instance, or Berechovka – two of the drinks I’ve had recently – or even better, try Hum. Replace the Dolin Blanc with Caparno.

Okay, there’s one of my best drinks. People really seemed to like it.

But this is SCOFFLAW’S DEN! We don’t just kowtow to MxMo with one drink! NEIN! NYET! NO! We do multiple drinks!

So, I give you, by far, and without pictures, the two most popular drinks I’ve ever come up with. In some synchronicity, these are also named after people I know. In fact, it’s my brother and my sister-in-law.

Back in the hectic, lawless, far-flung days of 2009 I lived with my brother and his fiancée. As they approached the sacred rites that would bond them as one, forever destined to take care of two flagrantly obnoxious cats, and one condo surrounded by some pusillanimous (and some recherché, I admit) neighbors, I suggested I’d make up drinks named for each of them. They liked the idea and I disseminated some test drinks which, soon enough, got narrowed down to these. The fact that their cakes would be soaked in Grand Marnier gave me the appropriate animus.

The Matt
2 ounces Crown Royal
1/2 ounce Grand Marnier
2-3 dashes Regan’s #6 orange bitters
Top with Coca-cola
Build in a low ball glass. Stir.

A lot of my family likes Crown & Coke and so I built from there. What’s scary about this drink is how easily it goes down, as the GM just makes it … well, damn easy to drink. Even if you replace the Crown with rum (as one guest did at the reception) or the Coke with diet (as many guests did).

The Cathy
1/2 ounce Grand Marnier
1/2 ounce vodka
Top with sparkling wine/champagne
Garnish with a long twist of orange peel
Build in a champagne flute

Like the other drink, I also wanted to make sure these were easy to make for the bartenders. When I tested this for the first time I was actually asked (surprisingly to me) to make it stronger, thus the vodka.

Warning note: Five of these might mean you nap somewhere you’d rather not do so.

So that’s it for this MxMo. Thanks to DJ Hawaiian Shirt for hosting, and Paul for organizing. Cheers!

No, not mine…still working on that vital step before it “finding a girlfriend”.  Instead, it was my brother’s wedding as he married Cathy.  They’re on their honeymoon right now, giving me some vital quiet alone time in the house (I live with the two of them for the time being, though that’ll change soon) which is also showing me how freaking insane our damn cats are when they feel neglected.

But you don’t come here to the Den to read about cats, you come for the drinks.

Cathy had asked me to come up with drinks for each of them for the wedding reception.  We talked about it with the wedding planner at the Four Seasons Georgetown and she liked the idea, so I started banging my head against a table.  What would be a good drink for each of them?

Matt – most of his liquor drinks are “something and coke” – usually Jack Daniels or Crown Royal (Crown Royal being the unofficial family drink of our clan, it seems).  I had hoped to convince Crown to hook us up for the wedding, but alas, they didn’t write back to me.  He’s not a fan of very “liquor”-y tasting drinks.

Cathy – her primary drink is usually the kir royale or some variation of it – Chambord or creme de cassis topped with champagne, basically.  One long night I’d invented a drink called the “Cathy cocktail” which was Hendricks, creme de cassis, and something else topped with Sprite but I wanted something new.

I took into consideration a few other things, too:

1. The wedding cakes would be soaked in Grand Marnier.
2. The drinks should be easy on everyone – in terms of tastes.  I might love a good Sazerac, but that doesn’t mean my cousins do.
3. It should be easily made by the Four Seasons.

So I started experimenting.  From the looks and the sounds of it, I hit the ball out of the ballpark with both of them – especially by the descriptions of some of the hangovers!

I’ll show the Cathy first, since it doesn’t have my ugly mug in the picture.

This picture is from our friend Jennie Lin (used with permission).  She and Debbie are enjoying a Cathy’s Cocktail.

Cathy’s Cocktail
1/2 ounce vodka
1/2 ounce Grand Marnier
Dash of Chambord
Champagne
Shake the vodka and Grand Marnier together.  Pour a dash of Chambord into a champagne flute and swirl it around to coat the flute.  Pour in the vodka and Grand Marnier, then top with champagne.  Garnish with a twist of orange rind.

One of the things that the Four Seasons did for both was premix parts of it, and that made them faster.  Which is a good thing to do with hundreds of guests, but after the reception I went upstairs and had Kevin at the Bourbon Steak bar make another Matt’s Cocktail and it was goshdarned delicious-er.

(And if you’re wondering, I’m going back to the bar at Bourbon Steak, as their drinks and food were AWESOME, but I want to devote some time just to that.)

Here I’m holding up a Matt’s Cocktail while Joanna and I sing along with some song that the DJ was playing (picture courtesy of her husband, Mike Conroy).  That’s the kind of thing that a drink like this will do to you – it’ll fill you up with sugar and caffeine and make you silly.  I hadn’t drank that much “regular” Coke in years and I definitely did not sleep at all that night (well, for the most part).

Matt’s Cocktail
2 ounces Crown Royal
1 ounce Grand Marnier
2 dashes Regan’s Orange Bitters
Coca-Cola
Shake the first three things over ice and strain into a glass.  Top with Coke.

So – have any of y’all out there made specialty drinks for someone’s big occasion?  How’d it go?

And you’re on a cleaning rampage like I was, you think, hey, let’s catalogue ye olde bar.

I even zoomed in a bit, but you don’t need all THOSE pictures. 

While I was at it, I took the time to write down what I have.  Stars via The Complete Book of Spirits by Anthony Dias Blue, but given that I don’t always agree with him (or think that the liquor has changed since he wrote the book).

Gins
Tanqueray 10                              ****
Tanqueray Rangpur                   ***
Bombay                                         ***
Bombay Sapphire                        **
Hendricks                                     ***
Plymouth                                       ***

Vodka
Stolichnaya Vanil                          **
Absolut Vanilla                             ***
Charodai                                       ***
Absolut Kurrant                            ***

Bourbon
Evan Williams Green Label      **
Buffalo Trace                                *
Maker’s Mark                                ***

Other whiskeys and whiskys
Glenfiddich 12 year old             **
Redbreast Irish Whiskey          **
Bushmills 10 year old               ***
Canadian Club                           **
Sazarec Rye                                ***            

Rum
Dogfish Head Wit Spiced Rum            not listed
Dogfish Head Honey Brown Rum       not listed
Bacardi Superior Blanca                       **
Marti Licor de Rum Mojito rum             **
Foursquare spiced rum                        **

Tequila
Jose Cuervo Tradicional                   ***

Schnapps
DeKuyper Peppermint Schnapps            not listed
Arrow Peppermint Schapps                      not listed
Arrow Original Raspberry Schnapps       not listed
DeKuyper Peachtree Schnapps               *
Goldschlager                                                not listed

Brandy
E&J VSOP                                          **
Arrow Coffee Flavored Brandy       not listed

Liqueurs
Original Stock Maraschino                     not listed
Wild Turkey Honey Liqueur                    not listed
Irish Mist                                                     **
Dr. McGillicuddy’s Vanilla Liqueur         **

Stuff I don’t feel like or know how to categorize
Noilly Prat dry vermouth
Noilly Prat sweet vermouth
Lillet blanc                              not listed
St. Germain                            not listed
Hiram Walker Creme de Cassis      not listed
Leroux Triple Sec                  not listed
Cointreau                                 ***
Grand Marnier                         ***
Bols Blue Curacao                not listed
Arrow Creme de Cacao        not listed
Arrow Creme de Menthe      not listed
Copa de Ora Licor de Cafe coffee liqueur     not listed
Cuarenta y Tres                       ***
Amaretto di Amore                   **
Chambord                                 ***
Stirrings Grenadine
Fee Brothers Orange Flower Water
Laird’s Applejack                    not listed

Bitters
Pernod                                       ***
Zalios Devynerios 999           not listed
Fee Brothers Original Aromatic Bitters
Fee Brothers West Indian Orange Bitters
Fee Brothers Mint Bitters
Fee Brothers Whiskey Barrel Aged Bitters
Regan’s Orange Bitters No. 6
Angostura Aromatic Bitters
Peychaud’s Aromatic Bitters
Stirrings Blood Orange Bitters

Things I still want to get
Campari
better selection of tequila, vodka (non-flavored), bourbon, scotch, brandy, dark rum
Benedictine
Chartreause
Aquavit
different vermouths