So, it’s rare that I get a liquor package and immediately review it, but hey, that’s how it worked out tonight.

Johnny Walker was hinting that they had something new and asked for my address. I supplied it, and last night got a notification of a new package. Woohoo! I picked it up after work today (since last night I was in bed when I got the message).

That box is 2.5 Mutineers in size!

Well, I was surprised how big the box was! Clearly I wasn’t just getting a bottle of Double Black and being told “have at it, son.” No, there was something going on here.

And oh look! A letter addressed to me!

That was a lot of bubblewrap.

I fought my way through the bubblewrap. It was a noble effort, as there was a lot of it, and tape too!

People don’t understand how much WORK and EFFORT and BLOOD and TEARS go into opening these boxes. I ALMOST WORKED AND PUT OUT EFFORT. Tape made me ALMOST CRY. I had BLOOD almost spill from stabbing myself with a knife.

I’m just kidding, of course. I’m not allowed to use knives. I used a ballpoint pen, because I was too lazy to find my keys.

But man that’s a shiny case! Let’s open it!

Hey look, a fifth of Johnny Black!

Ooooo, a bottle of Johnny Black!

But that’s odd, because they’re advertising something new. I wonder, just wonder, what might be on the other side of that box. DARE I LIFT THE CARDBOARD AND CHECK?

I dare!

Another fifth! And coasters and a USB key and glasses!

There’s a fifth of the Double Black, and it’s in a dark tinted bottle. There’s also two highball glasses, because lord knows I need more of those, coasters because I care about my table (note: I do not), and a USB key I will probably insert into something that’s not a computer while drunk.

BUT SEANMIKE! WHAT…OF THE WHISKEY?!

Oh yeah that, heh heh.

Well, I can’t taste inside, I need a beer, and I need a cigar, and I need to chat with folks. So I carried everything outside, poured a finger or so of each into a glass – the Black into my UVA glass (on the left) and the Double Black in a work glass (on the right). I sniffed each. The Double Black has a more distinct aroma, but for some reason it smells like someone is dumping out their perfume into the night, so it’s hard to tell.

TASTING AND JUDGMENT

Scotch Scotch Scotch, yum yum yum

I don’t feel like I need to talk too much about the taste of Johnny Walker Black. If you haven’t tried it – well, why not? It’s practically?ubiquitous?and not that expensive. Seriously. Do I need to hold your hand? Do you need mommy to tell you it’ll be okay? Just give it a shot next time you’re at a bar. Or buy a mini of it. It’s practically un-American if you haven’t had it.

But I sipped it anyways, warm and neat, and enjoyed the kind of spicy honey taste that turned hot right at the end. Yummy. Needs an ice cube.

Now, the Double Black. First taste I slip and gulp – just a wave of peaty and smokey, not bad though. Let’s try again.

There, I get a bit more of the honey taste I pick up from Black, but with more spice and smoke and a hint of peat – mostly getting overwhelmed by the stench of perfume OR WHATEVER THE HECK IT IS (seriously yo this is really making me mad). Therefore, we shall do our next tastings – UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF CIGAR! A La Gloria Cubana Serie R #5, to be precise.

(I’m kind of wondering if the smell is my unlit Citronella candle, but man, it ain’t that strong smelling when it IS lit!)

A drink of water later, sipped the Black, and oh yeah – there’s that smoothness. Really, it’s not a bad whiskey! It’s not the most immediately recognizable in flavor, perhaps, but I’m cool with it.

The Double Black is a much more aggressive whiskey in that same taste (though they are both the same proof – 80). To me, it honestly tastes more like what a lot of people would think of single malts.

So – if you had your choice, which should you try?

Honestly, if you’re just getting into scotch, I’d say the Black – but then after trying it, give the Double Black a shot. You might be surprised at what you like!