If you’re like me, you’re pretty awesome. Also, you’re pretty darn excited about heading to New Orleans next week.

For those of y’all going for the first time, I thought I’d write up some thoughts I had on surviving the week. The last three years I’ve gone for at least a week at a time for Tales, and I’ve paid attention to the veterans. I haven’t always followed their lead, but hey…

First off – if you’re a guy, consider a messenger bag. Why?

Well, in my opinion, you’ll always want to be carrying several things with you. Don’t try to stuff ‘em in your pockets. You’ll probably have:

• Cell phone and accessories. Don’t expect to find lots of outlets, so bring a battery charger (you can get ‘em off Amazon for like $30-something), charge cables (in case you do find one), and an extra battery.
• You may have other electronics: Kindles, iPads, whatever. Having them in a bag makes them less?susceptible?to damage and protects them from accidental water damage (say, if someone waters their plant on a balcony above you).
• Umbrella. You never know when it might rain.
• An extra t-shirt and socks, at least. It’s hot, it’s sticky,?this will make you happier!
• Flasks! ?Remember, though:?you are not in a race to get drunk! There’s plenty of booze around. But it’s fun to have something to share.
• Water bottle. You’ll need hydration! Fill it up every chance you get, and drink out of it regularly.
• 5 Hour Energy. If you’re hot, you may not want coffee, and you shouldn’t stint on the caffeine. These, at least, don’t need to be?refrigerated, and will get your caffeine fix in fast.

So that’s walking around stuff. What about in your room?

• Lots of extra clothes. You can’t pack enough. Change regularly, it’ll keep you happier.
• Pedialyte, or its Walgreen-generic-equivalent. One before bed, one when you wake up, and that’ll help a lot. Gatorade is not as efficient, but (to me) seems sometimes better for “mass hydration” in the morning.
• Toilet paper. HA! Not the hotel brand. Consider getting some good stuff. You’ll probably be suffering from swamp ass (that’s the technical term) and … well, just trust someone who travels a lot.
• Caffeine. I plan on keeping a supply of Coke Zero and 5 Hour Energy. We should have a fridge, and if you do…
• Beer. Because you won’t always want cocktails, and if it’s in a can, you can take it with you.
• Underberg or other amaro. If you bring Underberg minis, you can carry them with (drink and dispose fast, folks, they’re glass and you can’t just walk around with them on the street in NOLA). You’ll be eating a lot, and this will make you feel better.
• A power strip. If you’re sharing a room, this will make life a lot easier if you’re trying to recharge multiple devices.

Alright, so we’ve got all that. Now what are we doing?

• Don’t just do Tales. NOLA is a fantastic town full of great things to do. Try to get out of the French Quarter at least once.
• EAT. OH MY GOODNESS. Make a list of restaurants that are recommended. Write them down, and write down their hours, days of operation, and addresses. Consider going at “off times” – like as early as possible for lunch, or between lunch and dinner, to avoid crowds (unless you want crowds!). There are so many fantastic places to eat around there I’m not even going to consider getting into them…
• Don’t be afraid to taxi. Save the wear and tear from walking around if you can.
• LISTEN TO MUSIC. So much great music! Try to hit dba at least once, for instance.
• Only carry as much cash as you need, and be careful with how many cards you carry. I’ve only personally known one person robbed during Tales, but that’s one too many. Just be careful and don’t flash your cash.
• Use your apps to find out what folks are up to! That’s why we all have smartphones, right?

Which apps do I suggest keeping an eye on?

• Twitter: my current favorite social media app. Watch for the #totc hash tag and for others to show up. If you want to follow me on there, I’m there as HighwayStar.
• Foursquare: see where folks are at that moment. HINT: it’s probably the Carousel Bar. Or the nearby Walgreens, buying Pedialyte and morning after pills.
• Facebook: obviously, some statuses, and also some checkins, so you might want to create a custom list for your friends that are there. Also, use it and Twitter to torture folks back at home.
• Google+: HAHAHAHAHA JUST KIDDING

If you’re going to be there, hope to see you there, and if not, hope to torture you from there! THREE DAYS AND COUNTING YAY!